it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
