I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize