i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
