i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
