Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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