Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
