my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
