I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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