my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
