Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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