I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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