I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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