Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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