Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
