I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
