his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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