Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
