I'd wear matching sweaters with you
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
