i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I need a beard to bite.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
