Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
