he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
