ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
40s are totally the cure
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
