My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
