I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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