Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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