Your tits are I can't wait for
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize