Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
