HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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