break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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