His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I supernannyed him into submission
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize