have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
