i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
