Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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