i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
he thought i was a dude.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
