it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
