Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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