either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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