so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize