absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
