We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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