Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
