I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
