Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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