Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
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Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
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So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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