I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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