You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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