you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Will exercising make me less horny?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
