I cockslap morals
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
