Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
