good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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