I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
