i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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