we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
