man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
