when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
