She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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