it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
