M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
