I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Houston, we have a squirter
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
