another moral hangover. fuck.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
